Random...not so random....

It has come to my attention that I am incapable of being an active part in many of the projects regarding Climate Change that I would like to be. This is all due to my limited income. Yes. I am on a fixed, limited income...otherwise known as Disability. I receive this Federally-funded income due to my diagnoses, both physical, as well as emotional...BUT - I don't let it stop me from taking part in activism where I see fit. I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia last year. The first doctor I went to insisted it was Lyme disease, but I couldn't accept it - due to the fact that I had never had the onset symptoms of it, such as a tick bite with a red ring around it, and spirochetes in the bloodstream that would indefinitely diagnose me properly, as well as Flu-like symptoms, irregular heartbeat, eye inflammation, and temporary paralysis of one side of your face (Bell's palsy). Finally, I saw a specialist who diagnosed me correctly (at least to my current knowledge) with Fibro. As devastating as this news was, I was also undergoing severe symptoms of mental illness. I had already been diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) after the attempted murder from my son's father (if you REALLY wanna know that story, I'm going to have to hear a LOT of requests for it via messages to this post, as it is an EXTREMELY difficult story to write about and re-live), Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Anxiety, Depression, Panic attacks (another fun story, oh the joy!), and the most recent diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Don't get your panties in a bunch, as BPD is in no way connected or affiliated with Multiple Personality Disorder, otherwise known as Schizophrenia. BPD can most easily be explained as a a person who has an emotional volume knob which is ALWAYS turned to the HIGHEST output, whereas most people's "emotional volume knobs" are turned to just the right amount of hearing level...not too loud, nor too quiet. People without BPD have "balanced" emotional levels. People like me, living with BPD, are constantly dealing with emotions that are "turned up" to the highest degree. We have the unfortunate gift of feeling every emotion to the highest degree. When someone is hurting, we feel their pain immensely, and cannot understand how others can be immune to the pain. When a discriminatory political view is made public, we cannot separate purselves from teh immense emotion that it may be disgustingly wrong, or inarguably correct! Those who suffer (and yes, suffer is the most accurate description of the disorder) from BPD are constantly conflicted with uncontrollable emotions and feelings that are so intense...it's almost as though we will just DIE if we cannot find a fix to the problems we see as painful to any other humans. It's the same as if it were painful to an animal...or even a laboratory rat...we cannot simply detach our emotions from situations as others can so easily do. It is not only our REASON for living, our motivator and inspiration, but also our bane and anguish to our lives. We feel more pain than many, and happiness comes at the same price: as soon as we realize the repercussions of said happiness, we are filled with pure sorrow and taken over with sadness, much to our demise. It is a most debilitating disease, as we have no control over our feelings and emotions, and live basically at the will of all who have the ability to influence us with sentiment and passion. We are the weak, but we are also the ones who make differences inthe world, based on our strength of emotions... You have now been informed...do NOT take advantage of us.

Random # 25 - I am Sigourney Weaver.

There is something SERIOUSLY wrong with my finger.

Ingrown nail...or ALIEN TRYING TO BURST OUT OF MY FINGERTIP???????

Random # 24 - Fairy Homes

I wanted to share some Fairy houses. I've been obsessed with these since I was a little girl, and recently saw them online selling for upwards of $100.00.

I am gonna make one, and that's that...but first, a little inspiration!

-source

-source

-source

Random #23 - smorgasboard.

How's this for lucky?

That's 5 (count 'em, FIVE) four leafed clovers I found on yesterday's walk with Dutch. The ironic part? I found them in his usual poop-spot...

Dutch's breakfast is on the right: Oatmeal cooked in leftover kale/okra/cabbage curry soup, mixed with egg yolks and shells for a good crunch-factor. I threw in the refuse of a green pepper and some baby carrots, too. He eats more than I do for Pete's sake.

Dinner last night was Vegan Potstickers and Salad with a topping of flax seed and chopped boiled eggs. The Sesame Ginger dressing made it all meld properly.

Dutch committing Elmo murder...

...and poor Elmo. I don't think that tickled at all.

Random #22 - Renaming Dutch: Douche.

And here we have another episode of "my dog ruined my day."

I made these perfectly delightful Indian spice "biscot-tea" cookies for all my mama friends for mother's day...

And that &*($-ing dog ate them all in the middle of the night. Ripped them right out of the boxes they were packed in for mailing, as well as the baggies they were wrapped in to keep them fresh.

He spent the day in the crate for that. I used REALLY EXPENSIVE spices, too! Indian coriander, Gourmet Saigon Vietnamese Cinnamon, and fresh nutmeg that I grated myself. I know, I'm complaining (get over it!), but I spent HOURS putting this together and setting intentions for my mama friends to be really happy with their snail-mail surprises.

RUINED. And he didn't even savor them.

What's worse is that I can't afford the ingredients to make them again.

Random #21 - pointe

I am just about DYING to see the film, "First Position."

Here's the trailer:



Let me know if it sounds interesting to you...

I've been contemplating starting a book of "quotes" that just resonate within me. Then, I realized how many quotes I have stored and how many I just love, but don't have record of, and decided not to...simply because, finding new ones every time I feel the need for them, is ever so much more FUN!


~♥~ “We are all like the bright moon, we still have our darker side.” ~♥~
~Khalil Gibran~

Random #20 - Goosebumps!

Just watch it.

Random #19.1 - Auschwitz Super Spy

As I mentioned in a previous post, I wanted to take more images of that creepy factory that sits on the major brook running through Attleboro - you know, the one that looks like a holocaust camp? Well, I finally got around to uploading the images, although they didn't turn out as well as I had planned because I was trying to be uber-ninja about it. It was a bright day, and the sun's positioning made for some awkward shots, but anyway, I got what I needed to convey the eeriness of this industrial eyesore...

The windows are all boarded up, yet there we have some fiberglass insulation exposed behind the broken panes of an unused window. Wonder what they're hiding back there?

Whatever they're doing, it includes three major chemicals. 1., Mineral Spirits...which is a cleaning solvent derived from paraffin and used for degreasing oily machinery, among other things.

2., Alkyl Resin...another crude oil or natural-gas derived paraffin or "saturated hydrocarbon" used as paints, marine paints and baking enamels. And 3., Ethyl Acetate...the ester of ethanol and acetic acid, it's uses are in glues, nail polish removers, and cigarettes. Yummy.

Okay, these things are pretty common and we use them quite often...right? Well, most of us do, anyway. But here's the kicker...

Those pipes lead directly to those tanks, and it looks like they are used to drain out and/or fill the tanks...OVER A STORM DRAIN.

Let's zoom in on those signs, shall we?

If for some reason you can't read the signs in the image, this is what they say:

"Danger: Check wheels before loading or unloading"

"Deactivate storm drain shutoff switch while tanks filling"

"Spill drain cover"

"Stormwater spill kit"

Uhm...if that stuff spills into the storm drain...there's really no cleaning it up, folks...and remember, this plant is RIGHT ON THE MAIN BROOK that runs through the city...so the storm drain right there is about 200 or so feet from the brook, and probably runs directly to it. AWESOME!

Last, but not least, there's a huge dumpster/container thing, covered by industrial grade sheet plastic. What the HECK is IN there that they need to cover with plastic? And what are they trying to keep OUT of there? Birds? Squirrels? PEOPLE? If either of those, I'm pretty sure plastic isn't keeping anything out...nor IN, for that matter.

What do you think? Am I just over-suspicious or is there a problem here?